You Broke It.

My Partner told me about a dream they had. They were in a little room watching television. On the screen was Family Guy. Peter Griffin went about his day, he got into all kinds of typical wacky adventures. Eventually, he finds himself at a flight of stairs. He walks up the stairs and finds a door. He opens the door and finds 6 beds, each with a real-life, non-animated child inside. After being seen by Peter they become enraged and turn into a swarm of real-life bees. They attack Peter, and after being stung he melts into a puddle of yogurt.

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I saw this dream as the perfect analogy for Ego-Death. The Soul is entranced by the story being played out in front of it- The Ego, but upon discovering its own nature The Ego is obliterated. All we are left with is the Soul, the true Self, who is unaffected by this, and was only watching a show. The terror experienced by The Ego is short-lived because the esoteric knowledge it obtained literally changes its shape and nature. It can never exist again the way it had before.

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My project is on the discovery of forbidden knowledge, and the terror that comes with it. The circular compositions of the photos invoke an abstract keyhole or glory hole. It’s when peeping through small, hidden holes that forbidden knowledge is often stumbled upon. The photos are of places typically disclosed from public views, such as messes, bathrooms, and other private spaces. There are images of a figure taking your photo, invoking a feeling of being caught while snooping into the composition. This idea of being caught is continued with the repetition of distorted faces, wide-eyed or distressed. These faces function similarly to how the swarm of bees did in my partner's dream. They represent merciless, cosmic forces coming to change you. You can never be the same after what you’ve learned. You broke it.